On this day, April 1st, 2026, right before the Full Moon, I have come to terms with knowing that I find the purpose of this life in simply being. After having certain spiritual experiences that have completely altered my understanding of this reality, I can no longer pretend that I enjoy doing things for something.
I don’t enjoy working or growing a business for money. My next question is always: “And then what?” I don’t enjoy walking just to get somewhere or to release my emotions. “And then what?”
I realized these are not solutions to my problems. The solution lies within me — in my anxiety, in the feeling of lack, in something that troubles and crumbles the little parts of me from the inside out, not the other way around.
And so, I found peace only in stillness — only in the present moment. Even as I write this, it’s 21:21 on the clock. It is simple presence that reminds me to feel into who I am and begin to sense the path I carry within me all my life. And only that wisdom is able to guide me truthfully and openly, to remind me of my true essence. No achievements, goals, or statements can give that same effect. They only prolong the suffering. And I have found that to be completely true.
Before, I wouldn’t understand how having more money wouldn’t solve my problems. But the reality is: you feel like you lack money because you are unable to use what you already have
to its full power and resourcefulness. And the reason for that is a restless mind that is unable to see the path and the ways to use what it is given. And the only cure for this is stillness. This is just one example. The rest follows.
Creating from a state of stillness, where I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, is new for me. My whole life, I have tried
to show that I am worthy — worthy of attention, that I am interesting, that I am competitive, that I am this and I am that. My whole life, I have been in a race where I was trying to do something in order to get something back — money, attention, validation.
Now, this new me emerging from deep within my soul is different. She abruptly stops me and enters my mind and heart to remind me that this is no longer my path. That I am meant
to be, not to get or achieve. I am meant to live — now, fully.
And it is scary. It truly is. It is so new that I cannot yet understand what to do or how to do things now. I used to create so that others could receive my patterns, so that others could see how I combine energy and form, so that others could pay for my effort.
But now? It is all gone.
And it feels so unsettling that I can barely tolerate it — from within. My mind still comes up with the old ways of having ideas — ideas that strive to survive, to prove, to show off. Ideas whose very essence is lack. Ideas of an incomplete being.
And now it is fading. That way of thinking is slowly being dismissed.
Create just to live. Create out of curiosity and say:
“Well, as I am now, in this very moment, I wonder how it would feel to touch a turquoise viscose top. Let’s try it.”
Live just for that.